FANDOM


I Hate SpongeBob NoPants. An animated cartoon on Nicktoon, excuse me, that debuted on its channel on May of 1997, and still airs today, making this one of the longest running animated shows behind Family Incest, Allah, Eastern, and The Simps. When Hilldenburg dies, Rob Schneider, was introduce as the replacement showrunner, and hired untalented criminals.

You see, I was an intern at Nicktoon Animation Studios, and I used work with these hairy, dirty, sadistic, untalented, egotistical cunts. I was an intern so that I could live on my own while going to college, and I proved to my parents that I can work my ass off in making a living.

I had planned a LOT of episode ideas on top of my head. The one I planned was how Patrick becomes nice to Sandy. That was not realized.

Eventually, on the same day as I planned the story, I took a break. I wandered through the workspace hallway, which is where I came across a DVD copy of SpongeBob that was made exclusively for the network prior to the airing. "Who was holding it?" asked you. Well, it was one of the writers of the new SpongeBob, He pretty much stood there drinking coffee while looking into nothing like a retard. This was my perfect opportunity to steal the copy while he stares the space, and replace it with Cuck DVD.

I ran to my complex apartment next door to the studio, as I was ready to open the DVD. It turns out that the DVD cover was a poorly-made MS paint version of SpongeBob. In this picture, we see SpongeBob looking down at his shoes, disheveled, and pretty much had badly-drawn bruises on his left eye. That's not all, there were bold words in New Times Roman font saying, "New Sponge Episode. *Insert the Poolboys' names here* Made This. " Now, I knew nothing about them. They probably one of the people in the last place I visit. I have no idea. Oh, and the happy face looked like Patrick from the show. I don't know why, so don't fucking ask!

I put the DVD on my portable DVD player, since I was too lazy to put this on my DVD player on my TV. The opening theme to the show was weird. It starts with a stock image of a pirate you would see normally in the show, with his lips moving realistically, but instead, we see George Jetson pictures which I assume that they were taken off of Google Images due to the minor pixels that I see. He says, "Are you ready kids?" in a similar vine of the actual pirate from the show. Hell, he even has the same voice! So anyway, after the p-I mean, "George Jetson" asks, the kids started laughing hysterically. These kids continued laughing as they sound more demonic, as it overlapped the audio for the animation of the intro, until the very end of the intro, where instead of SpongeBob playing his nose as a flute, he vomited through the screen.

After that... um... disturbing version of what seemed to be a loveable intro for a show aimed for a demographic of children, the title card read, "Ah Patrick!" while the background image of Squidward on fire layered behind the title, as we open up SpongeBob in a pineapple house, under the sea. As we see the house inside. And if you think the intro was weird, check this out! Gary the Snail was shown that he killed himself by placing a gun to his head and we see snail blood. Offscreen, we hear what seemed to sound like Patrick yelling in agony, "WHATcnwieunhjiewrjfkwnwudchwqiuehdi2uh387dhuicnhwnc2quidem2893u4f..................................................

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.