I am a big fan of Arrested Development. It is one of my favorite television shows and I love it a lot. It is hilarious and funny and all the characters are very cool, like Michael Cera. However, my love for the show is no more ever since I found the Arrested Development lost episnode. Let me tell you the sotry of the Arrested Development lost episode.
One day I was at my house. I was bored so I decided to go to GameStop to buy a Steam gift card so I could buy more cool hentai games. When I entered the store I picked up the card and I went to the cashier and the cashier looked very very nervous and anxious. I asked him, "Hey mister cashier, why are you so nervous?" The cashier answered. "I just watched this horrible episode of Arrested Development and I cannot live anymore." I shook my head. "Silly cashier. There are no horrible episodes of Arrested Development the best show on the face of the earth." He took out a blank disc covered with blood and had the words "Arrested Development Season 4 episode 0" on it in blood. "This is the worst thing ever there is tons of bad stuff on here." I shook my head again. "Sure there is, you smelly butt. Give me the disc." He handed it over without hesitation and then took out a gun and then put it in his mouth and shot himself. "Oh well." I said. I walked out with the gift card and disc of my favorite show for free. But that was a big mistkane...
I came back home in a hurry so I can watch the episode 0 of my favorite episode arrested development. I didn't even bother with the gift card. Something like hot hentai games can wait when Arrested development my favorite show, is in the mix. I put it in my dvd player and a message popped up.
"DO NOT WATCH THIS EPISODE OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IT IS HORRIBLE"
It was in red text. I laughed out loud. I thought it was a joke so I decided to keep the disc in. However, following that message is 10 minutes of static. I could hear whispering. It was my name??? What? How does the disc know my name? It was owned by someone else beforehand, too! But I can't question him since he committed suicide? What the hell? I kept the disc in and what I saw next was truly shocking.
IT was the bluth banana stand on FIRE. I could hear screaming and it did not sound like any character I know. Someone was in the burning banana stand. I was scared. The show was never this edgy before! I vomited all over my floor so much that it is indescribable. Then the screaming stopped. The camera went to the left and guess who was there? It was Evil Patrixxx... what was evil patrixxx doing in arrested development? He was holding a blow torch. He walked towards the camera to say something, but before he could say something, it cut to the theme song. The theme song was the same, however, the narrators voice was deeper and also everyones eyes were bloodshot and hyper realistic. I vomited again all over the floor. I do not like hyper realistic stuff.
After that it cut to jobe bluth. He was sitting on a couch in an unknown location. He took out a gun and then shot himself in the temple. I was so scared. I vomited again. What the hell? It is like whoever made this disc wanted me to vomit my butt off? it was very creepy. Then buster came in and started yelling hyper realistic screams after seeing his dead brother on the couch. He then passed out on the floor, and there was a laugh track. What? A laugh track in Arrested Development my favorite show? Impossible. This is not my favorite show. This was something much more sinester and different to what the original, non violent cool arrested development is.
I went to go and turn my tv off but it was not working. Even the remote. I was going to call the police but I dropped my cell phone in the vomit that was on the floor and it got damaged. The most I could do was sit there and watch, as another ten minutes of static was shown.
After the static, it showed a funeral. There were three caskets. One was jobes, one was busters and one was Michael Cera. But I don't get it. We did not see michael cera die. The camera turned to the rest of the bluth family, crying. Michael bluth was very very sad. His crying was hyper realistic. I vomited because I did not like seeing my favorite characters so sad, especially when three of them are dead. There was one person missing from the family. George Sr. was not there. I thought to myself, where could he be? But my question was answered.
Out of nowhere, the camera shown george sr. and evil patrix enter the funeral with an ak-47 and a pistol. George sr. said, "Who is ready to die fuckers?" and then started shooting. Everyone was dead and all the screams were hyper realistic. I had so many questions. Why did george sr. and evil patrixx team up? What did they have to do? But then something happened. Michael bluth was not dead. He had a pistel and he was very veryvery weak. "I'm going to kill you motherfuckers" he said. "But not evil patrixx since this creepypasta will be deleted from the wiki since he cannot die anyway." I agreed to what he had to say. He then proceeded to shoot his father in the face. It was hyperrealistic. I did not vomit since I had nothing in my system anymore from vomiting so much. Evil patrixx then shot Michael. He died. His last words were "You will all pay." The screen cut to black. Except it was not black. Evil pattrixx was there. He said to me, "He told you not to watch this haunted disc, now you will die." I knew that was a lie. I had no guns to kill myself with.
The video ended and I was scared. When the disc popped out, it had even MORE blood on the disc. What the frick? How is that possible? I was scared and I went to go email 20th Century Fox about this lost episode. I went onto my Macbook and I emailed fox with all the details of what happened and a picture of the DVD. I recieved a response.
Hello, David [that is my name]
I am so sorry you had to come across this episode. I am an intern at 20th century fox and I need to tell you that you were not supposed to see that episode. One day, one of the producers went crazy and wrote a script for an episode where everyone dies and he forced people to work on it. I remember editing the episode. I still have nightmares. Soon after, they cleaned up all of our soundstages and brainwashed all the actors so they do not remember the episode. The producer later killed himself. Now nobody in fox wants to talk about it unless they are asked and even then they are still scared so they decide not to. But not me. I am not a pussy. One day somebody robbed fox and found the disc. I do not know why the gamestop dude had it at all but I think that is very bad he killed hismelf. We will send you some goodies to make up for it and a lifetime supply of family guy.
From, Zack, intern at Fox
I was scared reading that. It was very scary reading all of that.
Two weeks later I sent the dvd back to fox so NO ONE has to see it ever again. They sent back all of the family guy episodes on DVD and all of the arrested development episodes on DVD (from when the show was not on netflix) and even a cake saying "we are sorry for you having to see the lost episode of / arrested developemnt". I ate the cake and watched all the dvds and I vomited. Not because of lost episodes but because I had a bad case of the flu and it turns out that is why I was vomiting the whole time.
However, two weeks later, I was browsing ebay for more arrested development merch. I saw the lost episode dvd on there. How the hell did that happen? I vomited out of fear for real this time and I emailed Zack the intern again. He responded.
We got robbed again this week! We hope no one else kills themselves. We have called the FBI but they cannot trace their internet IP adress. We are very sorry David.
If you ever see a DVD that says Arrested Developenet Season 4 Episode 0 on it, then stay away. You will probably vomit a lot and kill yourself just like the Gamestop guy.