I was a huge fan of Spongebob, so seeing a new episode air on Nickelodeon was always a treat. One night however, would change my live forever.
After Spongebob stopped airing at around 10:00, I turned off the TV and went to sleep. It wasn't until 3:00 when I woke up instantly to the TV suddenly turning back on and loudly proclaiming that a new Spongebob episode will be airing right now. I was excited, as you would expect.
The intro did not play, and it went straigh to the title card. The title card read Spongebob Gets Constipated. I also noticed it was rated TV-MA. Boy, I was in for one hell of a ride. The episode starts at the Krusty Krab, and Spongebob was cooking Krabby Patties. Four seconds later he began to feel pain in his lower body, and he exclaimed, "Oh, Neptune, I need to take a shit!"
I was shocked to hear Spongebob swear. He then rushed into the restroom and sat on one of the toilets and tried to get it out. It didn't work. "Neptunedamnit! I'm constipated! If only I didn't have Sea-banana bread this morning!"
He then screamed bloody murder as he tried to get his shit out. Squidward, tired of Spongebob yelling, burst in and yelled, "SPONGEBOB! SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Spongebob could not hear him over his agonizing screams. For six minutes and 9 seconds Spongebob was in pain, and after that, he said. "Oh, I think it's coming out! Oh, thank Neptune!"
But instead of shit coming out and Spongebob returning to work, his crack turned into a hyper-realistic black hole. It began sucking everything into it's hole, it then cut to Mr. Krabs, noticing his money being sucked into Spongebob's ass. Soon enough, he along with Squidward were eaten by the black hole. After about a minute, the entire Krusty Krab was gone except for Spongebob, who felt like he had just taken a constipated dump. Soon, the rest of Bikini Bottom became food for the hole. After the entirety of the city was eaten, I noticed my house starting to fall apart and move west. I was along for the ride too, and we along with the remains of my house flew into the air. I began to see that the same fate happening to us. When we reached the ocean, we began to dive underwater, and as we got to the bottom, I saw Spongebob, with no clothes. Feeling the relief of his life. And all of us, me, you and the rest of the earth, get devoured by the black hole that is Spongebob's crack.