After that bloodcurdling and eerie encounter with an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants titled, THEH STORRY OFF SQUIDWARDxxx, I completely bunkered down. The contents that I witnessed in the show will forever glue to my brain like a piece of gum. Squidward committing suicide by violently jumping out of his second floor window, and that menacing title card of SQUIDWARDxxx smiling creepily at the screen.
Naturally, as any teenager who had seen something weird, I told my friends all about this wild, crazy dream of the spectacle. They all thought I had gone insane, that I had been cursed with some kind of evil and rotten mental illness. Truth was, I was starting to believe them, that maybe what I observed in the episode was actually fake, just a convincing illusion attempting to ruin my straight sanity. I was bombed with a gigantic tidal wave of depression that flooded my mind, filling me to the brim with ice cold despair.
One day I had deep trouble sleeping due to my extremely shifty mood swings. I was sitting in my room watching the TV. The area was as black as tar. The only existing light source was the TV on my wooden cabinet. As I was trying to desperately doze off, I heard the words, “are you ready kids?” emit out of the TV. I sluggishly got up and started to eagerly watch because SpongeBob was still one of my favorite shows, even after that horrible incident with Squidward.
I noticed it was strange that SpongeBob was steaming so late. I celebrated a little too early. As the title of the episode appeared my mood turned from joy to shear horror. The title was called THEH STORRY OFF SPONGEBxxx. I felt something in my mind shatter into a million pieces, the dread overcoming me once again. The episode started normally enough, with an aerial view of the three houses, I leaned back in relief. The sun was just rising, bathing the sky in a vast, magnificent shade of gold and orange.
Next, it zoomed in to SpongeBob sleeping peacefully in his bed. After a second, his white horn alarm went off with an ennnnnnn. Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, it repeatedly blasted as SpongeBob jumped up and shut it off. “I’m ready for another day at my favorite workplace in the whole sea, the Krasty Krab.” “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready,” the little sponge chanted repeatedly as he ran cheerfully out of his house. I refused to let my guard down snice the first ordeal started just as innocently.
The bubbles came up and then it showed the exterior of the Krasty Krab. It cut to Squidward standing at the boat cash register with a pesky look on his face. By now everything else had strangely faded to the back of my mind. Nothing else in existence mattered but the episode. Squidward poked his head though the order window and yelled at SpongeBob, “Come on already, the customers are getting inpatient, what’s taking you so long with that krabby patty.” As the camera moved into the cooking area I noticed that SpongeBob wasn’t in his position at the grill. In fact, he appeared to be absent from the Krasty Krab altogether. I found this quite strange.
SpongeBob was always energetic to work for the Krasty Krab. The one time Mr. Krabs fired him he continuously sobbed for days. I really hoped nothing wicked had happened to the Sponge I so deeply loved. Then the view changed back to SpongeBob’s pineapple where he was viciously slaughtering his best friend Patrick Star with a meat cleaver. I fell back in shock and retched violently several times, my heart starting to beat like a drum at max tempo. That was quite an unexpected turn of events.
SpongeBob suddenly turned around and this time, I actually managed to properly scream. The sponge was now overlapped with someone else, someone with the same shape as him but all red. The two Sponges kept shifting and switching places with each other. The evil version had jagged, yellow tooth in his mouth that looked as sharp as razors. I looked closer and saw that his body contained no holes. His hands and feet were still normal though. His pupils were blood red. “Goodbye old friend,” the sponge shouted in a sinister tone. I jumped back in surprise once again. The voice sounded off. It was no longer cute or cheerful like in the normal episodes. The speech was now creepily demotic, biting harshly into my fragile brain like a pack of wild dogs.
By now I just wanted to shut off the TV and pretend that this never happened. Unfortunately, curiosity is a powerful machine of force in human nature and I couldn’t resist its temptation. I continued to watch. SpongeBob suddenly turned around and grimed right at me. Then the show ended and the normal credits appeared. I sat up in disgust. Why would Nick make a show like that for kids to watch? What kind of sick, corrupted animator had the idea? My bones turned to ice just thinking about it.
Never less, I’m afraid to tell you that my story ends here. I went on with my life and left all this behind once I got married. However, my gut feeling tells me that I won’t be the last person to be embraced by such a tragedy. I am desperately sharing this to as many websites as I can find. If anyone knows something, please post a comment and we will attempt to figure out the truth together. Until that fateful day descends, I will be living my life to its fullest potential. Farewell everyone, and good hunting.